Monday, 5 October 2009

I'm so tired.

I've not really been sleeping properly over the last few weeks.
I'm not sure if it's my usual restlessness, worries over trivial things or my new higher dose of antidepressants making my system fudge up.
I'm really not happy about being on them anymore. I get strange headaches, I've got a feeling they're causing the sleep thing, I'm always tired and I've gone back to feeling depressed again instead of better. I've got an appointment with the doctor in two weeks to discuss it all.
Speaking of the doctor, I had to go today to talk through the whole IBS thing. She's given me Mebeverine which is an antispasmodic and I'm seriously hoping it works otherwise she's going to get me on beta-blockers (not really wanting that).
My huge fear for this week is me getting an attack during my birthday munch at spoons on Thursday or at Charlie's funeral on Friday (will explain both a bit more later).

On a better note the jobcentre have been getting in touch with me about services they offer for people on Employment and support allowance. I've been sent a list of LOADS of workshops and classes they offer for people with mental health conditions who are looking to get back into work. There are relaxation classes, exercise classes, stress and anxiety management, healthy eating workshops and assertiveness training to name a few things.
I have an interview with the jobcentre tomorrow to discuss my medical certificate and an interview with Workdirections next week to kick start the workshops. I'm REALLY REALLY looking forward to it.

It's my 23rd birthday on Thursday.
I have nagged the uni crazies and we're all going off to Weatherspoons to celebrate it in our true crazy style. I haven't seen everyone in such a long time. Only person I've seen is Biscuit and that was when we went on a day trip to Brighton together last month.
I'm a little annoyed with The Mister though. He has said he's going to come and meet us all after work for a bit but then he has to bugger off and go to studio with his other band. I'd usually understand but studio isn't compulsory, they go every week, the singer isn't even there this week and it's easy to call and cancel. I'm just pissed that yet another special day to be is cut short because of his stupid band stuff. My 22nd was taken over by studio stuff, he had to run from my graduation ceremony to get to a gig and now it's happening on my birthday as well. If I did the same he'd throw a massive hissy-fit at me.
We're going though a bit of a naff patch and this isn't helping.

I'm not looking forward to Friday at all.
My Dad's friend died from cancer a couple of weeks ago. I didn't know him very well but still think I should pay some respects. I used to play with his kids when dad was round there to help him fix stuff. Dad and Mum are trying hard to help out whenever they can and have kept conversation flowing whenever his widow calls to keep her company. I'm just not very good with funerals. No one is but...I don't know...

I can't actually remember what else I was going to say. That last paragraph has bummed me out a little bit.

Will update once the birthday passes x

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