...The Mister and I are in the comfortable phase.
OK, I don't actually know if that's a real relationship phase but things do feel that way.
We can say what the other one is thinking, we finish each other's sentences, our senses of humor appear to have merged into a Monty python/family guy megabeast, we've become so accustomed to each other that body parts we hate are flailed about freely without care, neither of us are too bothered if the other can't be arsed to shave for a week or more, I attack his blackheads with wreckless abandon (gross, yes, but I never claimed not to be) and slap face masks on him without much warning. We know what buttons to push when it comes to bedroom stuff and it's usually the same motions each time. When I get a job we're supposed to start flat hunting and he's going on about how much he wants kids soon.
He even said that he tells people he's "practically married" if ever he's out and either in conversation or someone attempts to chat him up.
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
Thing is, I don't actually know if I like this fact.
There are women out there, those Bridget Jones types, who would kick me and say "But you have a boyfriend. What are you moaning about?"
It's true in some respects. What I have going at the moment is what so many people crave but I suppose I'm getting into that typical rut of knowing that our honeymoon phase is well and truly over and now I'm wondering what the hell happens from here?
I love him to pieces and don't plan on things ending any time soon, I'm just worried about the lack of effort that we put into the relationship these days. We don't talk to each other much outside of our together time and when we are together it's always at my place and it's always the same routine of us watching crap TV, eating crap food, having a predictable fumble then him complaining about being tired and either going home or falling asleep on the spot.
I'm not the most romantic or spontaneous person ever, but I have tried to do and suggest things to get us out of habits. I made sure we went to the erotica exhibition last November to give ideas and imagination to private antics, I suggest going out places just the two of us, I put really deep thought into any gifts I get him. Inspiration runs dry pretty quickly, he's always too tired to go out and his idea of something romantic is getting me a bottle of booze and paying a bit more attention to foreplay than usual.
I've never gotten this far in a relationship before so it's all a bit new and strange.
I do like the fact that we are connected in some new ways, like a shared mind sometimes, and we can accept each others flaws both massive and small but I suppose I'm frustrated at the lack of excitement (and we weren't the most adventurous couple to start with).
I have a cousin who goes out with one of the Mister's best friends. They've been together for a year and he takes her on romantic weekends away, they go shopping together, they take each other out for dinner, they've been on helicopter rides together...
...I've never had anything like that done for me and I'm asking for much smaller scale things, y'know, like an evening in a pub just the two of us or something.
I'm hoping there's someone out there who can say some reassuring words to make me feel positive about where we're going. It's either that or I kick him up the bum and MAKE him do something different.
6 years ago