Of me trying to sort my life out.
So obviously yesterday was day one...sorting out what to do about The Mister.
After waiting around yesterday for him because he said he'd see me and it didn't happen, I sent a text saying we need to talk as soon as he has a moment free in his "busy schedule."
When he called he was walking along to the youth club at his old church.
I pretty much went mad.
I yelled at him down the phone, told him every single thing that has been making me unhappy about the relationship, cut off all his crap excuses before he could make them, cried my face off, made him cry, yelled some more.
My throat is killing me from shouting and crying, but it was worth it. He's going to sort it all out and that's not just some crappy excuse I've listened to and believed like I have done in the past. I've given him an ultimatum: one month to sort out his schedule and make for time for me in his life or I'm leaving him.
I've even marked off the day on my calendar.
Today, being day two as I said, is me looking around for spa treatments. I desperately NEED a bit of pampering for a couple of hours at least. I feel disgusting.
I'm looking at two for one offers so Ems or Mand can come with me too (I don't fancy going alone). My Granddad gave me £50 as a graduation gift to spend on celebratory drink but I'd rather be treated.
Tomorrow, day three, I'm off out for the day with my cousin Mand. I have no idea where we're going yet but I'll think of somewhere. Anyplace with a bar is good really.
Saturday, day four, I'm FINALLY going to see The Mister's niece. She was born two months ago but every time I've asked to visit, and his sister as asked me to visit, he fobbed me off with excuses. Not this time. I'm seeing her and then he and I are going out...on MY orders!
Sunday, day 5, is a lazy Sunday with my parents.
Monday, day 6, The Mister is coming. We're going to talk more.
Tuesday, day 7, I have an appointment with my doctor in the morning. She's going to run me through her depression diagnostic again and we're going to discuss me going on some form of medication. She wants me on some form of Prozac - fluoxetine, I think - for a little while along with the counselling appointments I'm due to start in a few weeks time.
After that I'm off to give blood in the afternoon. I just need to find someone around the area to get me safely onto a bus home afterward because I tend to feel sick and sleepy for a few hours afterward.
That's pretty much the week ahead in a nutshell.
I'm trying to fight away my blues as best I can.
7 years ago