I have had such a shit time.
I didn't lose Emz in the end but she's giving speaking to me a rest for a little bit as she got that pissed off with me and The Mister. What's so frustrating is that the guy who brought about this situation in the first place, Suspence from the band, is the one she's not mad at for some reason.
To clear what happened up a bit...
Emz had been calling me before 7 in the morning pretty much every day of the week ranting and raving about things going on with her. She woke me up at stupid times, interrupted my coursework, ate into any time I managed to finally get to be by myself with no work. I felt stupidly tired and because I worry about her so much I get stupidly stressed out. The Mister turned up just as I was saying goodbye after a 3 hour long phone conversation then asked what happened. Rather than hold my tongue like I should have done, I blurted what the conversation was about in an angry shouty type way. I know I shouldn't have done that and her business is her business but the phone calls mounted up and so did my work.
Trusting The Mister as much as I do - well, did anyway - I thought nothing of it after blurting things. He doesn't know Emz that well and no one he knows speaks to her and he's not not a spiteful person so I had no fear of him saying anything (especially due to the nature of it...I won't go into that though).
Now here comes the pissy part.
For some reason Emz and Suspence started talking to each other over Facebook and she started to hang out with him. Whilst they sat about together, Emz basically told Sus almost everything about her situation that she told me. The problem with Suspence is he has a VERY big mouth and no understanding of what the line is and the point in which you cross it.
While Mister and Suspence were on their way to a gig, Sus brought the subject of Emz up and asked Mister if I ever told him anything about her. This lead on to Sus mentioning things but not explaining and trying to get Mister to finish his sentences. If it wasn't that then he was asking if he knew about certain things but not saying exactly what. Eventually he managed to egg Mister on to spill everything I blurted out a few days before plus more via phone conversations he had overheard between us. This carried on again during their studio session where Suspence brought her up in conversation again.
The Mister recons he said it all because he didn't think it was so bad to talk about it if someone else knew too and had no idea Suspence was like...well...see for yourself...
Suspence then relayed all of this to Emz making out that Mister started the conversations and that I apparently sit there and tell him everything about her all the time and "we have a laugh" about it.
I then get a VERY ANGRY phone call her morning after the last conversation took place with Emz screaming at me for telling Mister something and making her out to be a tart and that Mister will probably have told the whole group by now etc
In 11 years she has never spoken to me in a tone like that.
I needed to find out what the hell had happened so I called The Mister straight after I got off the phone to her and calmly tried to get answers. I asked why he decided to tell Suspence something that he didn't need to know, why he would tell someone with such a big mouth anyway if he absolutely couldn't keep it in for whatever stupid reason and if he really just has no regard for mine, or more importantly Emz's, feelings.
That was when he told me what Suspence had done in order to get the info out of him in the first place (I believe Mister over Sus simply because he doesn't lie...I've known him for three years and he's honest to the point of being painfully blunt a lot of the time). I started crying and said that this has probably damaged mine and Emz's relationship beyond repair and that I don't think I can trust him for a long while after this because it's not the first time he's said something he shouldn't to the wrong person (I can cope with that when it's about me but not the people I love). He made the mistake of saying "things said in couples should stay within the couple" and that pretty much made me explode because he hadn't followed that at all yet sounded almost like he was preaching it.
He called Suspence straight after I hung up on him and said that he needs to tell Emz's that he's not guilt free in the whole situation (I'm sure you can guess, everything was on me and The Mister at this point). He said that because of all the stirring Emz and I were probably finished and that he and I were either going to be finished or completely fucked up thanks to him and he needs to admit that he blurted out everything she confided in him to Mister and the other band members who were also present (apparently Mister wouldn't answer things in front of everyone).
Suspence sent me a message on Facebook to say sorry about not thinking but I told him where to go.
A few hours later I got a call back from Emz who said that Suspence called her to say he had his part in it but still blamed Mister for bringing everything up. Mist then yelled at him again and Sus FINALLY admitted that it was mostly him.
It's mostly sorted now.
I refuse to speak to Suspence for as long as possible.
Emz and I are still friends but having some space and she feels she can't trust me.
The Mister and I are going to have a talk because I feel like I can't trust him properly now.
He is no longer speaking to Sus unless he has to because of band things.
Emz is still hanging out with Sus and telling him things, so I sent him a simple message saying that he's in deep shit if I ever find out he's blabbed her business ever again to anyone.
As for me I'm just not going to blurt ever again.
I have a paper diary I'm going to offload on from now on. I'm not someone who divulges peoples secrets I just said things I shouldn't out of being angry and feeling like I have no one to speak to myself.
This has been one big mess and I very nearly lost two people I love more than anything because of it.
No matter how much I replay everything in my head, Suspence seems to always come off as the one who completely knew what he was doing.
7 years ago