Sunday, 12 April 2009

Still the same.

I feel no better about anything from yesterday and, just to make it even more grrrrr, I've been itching to write but nothing is coming out. It's like mental constipation or something...you know it's there but it ain't moving no matter how much you clench.

I've been looking at jobs today and they all bore the feck out of me. Half the writing jobs want experience or a degree already classified and I can do neither.
Experience isn't too difficult and I already know a couple of legit websites and magazines to get work in but I have no ideas at all. I wonder if there's a cure out there for blockage of the brain bowels?
I then had a look at college courses just so I could faff about until I found my true calling but there was no such luck on that front either.

Life just doesn't feel like anything right now.
I'm not trying to be all "woe is me" and depressing because I don't feel depressed or low or even a bit down, I just feel like life is slowing to a stop and I'm more confused than anything.
I'm also questioning things: my relationships with people (one in particular), things I think I can do now, whether I should say things to certain people and if I should up sticks and escape from everything. Say my farewells then start again somewhere new.

I have no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going or even where I'd quite fancy ending up.

Right now I've been focusing on other people to take my mind of choices I have to make.
I've been an agony aunt to pretty much everyone in my life these past few weeks.
It's Mum I'm keeping my attention focused on right now. She's just been diagnosed with Bells palsy so Dad and I are keeping things in check and making sure she takes her meds etc etc.

Maybe it's time I sought out an agony aunt once again?

4 comments:

Weeping Shadows said...

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you at the moment Shells.
Gee... I knew it wasn't going to be easy but JEEZ.

My mother was also diagnosed with bells palsy. I've never heard of this condition until my mother had it. So weird.

Half-Divine said...

It's such a weird one. I remember my aunt having it way back when I was a kid.
Mum's eye started to feel weird on Friday, then her neck started to hurt and now the left side of her face has pretty much collapsed.
She's taking it in good humor, as per usual, but it freaked me and Dad out for a bit.

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like a turtle turned on its back.

Weeping Shadows said...

Aw.. a turtle turned on it's back.
I've seen that up close..

All we need is someone to forcefully pick us up and put us back on our feet..

Where are youuu mysterious person?

Half-Divine said...

I think they've passed out in a desert somewhere.