Thursday, 23 July 2009

An update.

So I haven't said much for a bit.
That's generally because I've been concentrating on my health.

I still see the doctor every couple of weeks and I've finally started sessions with a psychologist at the mental health centre. I don't have the best feeling ever about the appointments - I'll have 8 in total - but I'm pretty much going along with anything that holds off being stuck on Prozac.
I've been given things to do in the run up to my second assessment appointment next week. She's given me two chapters from a book about managing anxiety and I have a mood chart to fill out every hour. I have to write down what I did in that hour then mark my mood from 0 - 100 (0 being so crap I can't move and 100 being a floating on air type thing).
It's horrible because I have to write EVERYTHING. I even have to write if I have sex and what my mood was with that.......I hate that. I've left the squares blank because I don't want to write it.

That aside, I've had an ok week.
My parents have been on holiday so I've had The Mister staying here with me. It's been nice even though he's spent the last two days looking after me because I've had an IBS attack that just wont go away (yeah, I have that now too). I'm trying everything from changing the food I eat and cutting things out to taking peppermint oil capsules. I think the oil is doing something...nothing major but the pain seems to fade off for a while after I've taken them.

Back to the free house...
Before they left, mum and I drove up to my aunt's in Lincolnshire with the dog so she could look after him over the break. I spent time with my Granddad on the day we got there then spend a few hours with my uncle Billy before we left. I LOVE him so so much and was so happy I got to spend time with him. He looks so frail now that I try to make every effort to talk to him when I can because going all the way there to see him is a problem.
We sat in a dim room drinking, listening to Hawkwind and talking about music. He gave me £100 to play with as well. I tried to give it back but he refused.

Tomorrow is graduation day and I'm excited but nervous at the same time. I've spent the evening getting my plasters ready for my shoes and making sure I have all my letters and parking permits in one place.
I have such a horrible feeling that my gown won't fit. Probably a stupid fear but I can't shake it off.
Good news is that I somehow managed to get an extra ticket, so my parents are coming to see it along with The Mister. I never thought that would happen.

Anyway, I'm off to get something to eat.

Byyyyeeee xxx

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