Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Things right now.

I've been on antidepressants for 5 days now and so far all they seem to do is make me restless an hour or so after I take them. I also seem to be getting more headaches than usual. I feel lower right now too but that could be anything. The doctor said they can take 2-4 weeks to actually kick in so I'm just playing the waiting game for now. I hate the fact that I'm on them and part of me wishes that I didn't agree to this.

I had blood taken on Monday morning because the doctor FINALLY wants to investigate all the sleep problems I have. Well I have been mentioning it for 8 years, y'know, I think it just might be time to actually see what the fuck is happening.
I had two nurses in with me, one senior and one student, but they were both useless. What should have taken 10 minutes tops took half an hour because they couldn't find a vein. When they eventually did, the senior nurse put the needle to my arm, looked away and started going "sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..." as she pushed it in.
As well as that I had to remind her to clean my arm first because she forgot and I've been left with a crappy bruise that could have been avoided.
Dad reckons not finding veins quickly enough is the sign of a crap nurse. I think I agree.
I've been donating blood since I was 18 and they've never had a problem and I've never had a bruise.

I now officially hate Wednesdays.
I see the psychologist at my mental health centre there every week for an hour and I can't stand it. She can see exactly what I did the last time I was there through reading my old files yet she doesn't and we go through the same crap I already did two years ago. I can see what's she's trying to do but I don't need to understand how to identify thoughts and mood - I'm well practised in that - I need to be able to get help feeling positive enough to change my thoughts.
This cognitive stuff is a bitch.

The IBS is getting worse.
If I get to hot, too cold, too stressed, to flares up.
I'm so pissed off with it now it's untrue. I can't venture out too far, eat what I want where I want, be too active in case I overheat.
I've been taking peppermint capsules and they seem to be helping with a fair bit of the pain but everything else is still a problem. I've had to miss out on a BBQ with The Mister and friends today because I don't want it to flare up in a strangers house.

Life just seems so stressy right now. I'm getting fed up.

1 comment:

Weeping Shadows said...

Whoa, that's a lot to deal with.

All I can say to you is there's a light in the end of the tunnel.. sorry for the cliche, but that is literally always the case. So don't worry too much.. just fight your way through.