It's Ben's 24th birthday today and, to celebrate, we're off out for drinks in our local. That's great aside from one - or many depending on how you look at it - thing...there are a bunch of friends I've never met before including his best friend, Danielle. I've heard so much about her and she sounds great but I'm really freaked out. Best friends are tricky ones to get along with; I've had problems with pretty much all of them in past relationships. I really have to try not to blow it! I do have a back up though: my own Danielle is coming along. I NEED her for if and when things get too much. Someone who is to do with me more than him will help so much!
I splashed out on myself afer work a little bit yesterday. Basically, Lush have an offer on at the moment where for every £20 you spend - £40 before staff discount in my case - you get to pick a free gift box or bunch of products made before December 1st. When my shift was over, I bought myself loads of pampering treats (further aiding my work on becoming the plus sized embodiment of sex by the time I'm 30).
- Magic bath ballistic x2 - Creamy Candy Bubble bar - Blackberry bomb - The comforter bubble bar - Sex in the shower emotibomb x2 - Porridge hand & body soap
You're a Star gift box:- Dream cream face and body cream (240g) - Aqua Mirablis body butter - Ceridwen's Caulderon bath melt - Floating Island bath melt - Mar Bar bubble bar - Honey I washed the kids soap (100g) - Helping hands hand cream (45g)
My Freebie: Christmas Candy gift box- Let them eat Cake lip balm - Candy cane bubble bar - Angels delight soap (100g) - Yummy Yummy Yummy shower gel (100g) - Mr Butterball bath ballistic.
I think that's enough to keep me going for a little while.
Anyway, I'm leaving you with a song I'm completely hooked on this week: The Damned - Little Miss Disaster.
Not sure if you know or not, but I gave up celebrating Christmas a few years back. I never sent cards, bothered with the songs, decorated my room or helped decorate the house, never bought gifts aside for my parents and Anthony, I asked people not to get me anything...yeah. Because Ben is an uber Christian - almost - I promised I'd give it a go again this year. I sent out cards, I left music channels on full blast, bought myself a lovely little camp tree (all the colours of the rainbow), got my friends and family gifts. It was worth it.
Under ze tree I found for me (yay, poet or what?): -A black iPod classic -Headphones -A iPod speaker set with a small LCD screen built in (it can play music videos, be a digital photo frame, plug into my TV etc). -£30 worth of iTunes vouchers. -Earrings. -Lip & eye make-up pallets. -An Alarm clock. -Body lotion & shower gel. -A necklace. -Perfume. -3 bottles of wine. -Minty biscuits -Two funny books from Manda Manda -A squishy eye and pooping penguin from Michael
I spent yesterday afternoon with my family and Ben, who promised to visit everyone on my side, since no one had seen him since my cousin's wedding all the way back in march...2007, and I spent this evening with him. I got to his house at about half 5 sand said hello to his mum & sister (and the dog). I gave them their presents: His parents got a box of Thorntons finest, Fay a gift box from Lush and Chelsea some doggy treats. Ben didn't want to open his in front of eveyone so we went into his room and exchanged gifts. I got him a Van Halen T-Shirt and two guitar tab books for Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin, my parents got him a game for his PS3. He got me a VERY pretty silver bracelet, the Monty Python's Flying Circus box set and a Russell Howard stand-up dvd. His parents and sister got me earrings and an Oil of Olay bath/shower set. We lazed about in his room for the rest of the evening watching the new Doctor Who, some DVDS, we played some weird crap on the playstation and sat talking...and arguing over who makes the best stuffing: my mum or his mum.
This is probably the best Christmas I've had in years. We were even talking about swapping for next year...I spend the afternoon with his mad family and he spends Christmas with me (wouldn't it be great if we managed another year?). I'm not going to see him again until his birthday now, which completely sucks... but it's restored my faith in a happy Christmas.
The Mister is spending the day with me and my family tomorrow. He's met them all before, but that was nearly two years ago and my family have gotten even more crazy since then (if that's possible). It'll be fine, I know it will, and Mister's mainly doing this to visit my uncle Reg (wheelchair-bound dude who wants to battle Ben on Mario Kart for some insane reason) and it would make Reg's Christmas. My only concern is that Granddad gets aggressive if you don't take food offered...my cousin's boyfriend hasn't come back in three years because Granddad threw a plate of sandwiches at his head!
I'm even more nervous about Christmas day. I'm spending Christmas with his family. I love his family, but I have this awful feeling that I'm going to do/say something wrong and fuck things up...this is the first family that have actually liked me.
Between Emma and I. I saw her today for about 5 minutes to drop off Anthony's Christmas present and we honestly had nothing to say to each other. It was a quick hello followed by her standing there chatting on her phone with one of the many men she has on the go, then complaining about how many bags she has to carry home now (I really don't care) and then pushing past me to get to her bus whilst shouting "I'll see you when I see you!"
That's just it now. I'd rather have no best friend than have to tag her with it. Things have been going wrong with us for a while and today just confirmed that we just don't click the way we used to anymore. It'll be lonely without her, I'll admit, but probably a lot less miserable.
I didn't sleep from when I got back from that party, so I was up until my alarm went off. After that I made myself a cuppa then got myself dressed and out to get down to ye olde (S)Lush. I got there on time - although attempting to hide a slight hangover - along with two other girls I work with but there was no one there to actually let us into the shop. We waited and waited but no sod turned up with a key so I ended up having to call Dan, wake him up, stress him out, and get him to come down to the shop 2 and a half hours early so we could get in and set up. We ended up only having 20 minutes to put all of our stock delivery into the back room, put out all the testers, get all the tills online, wrap the soaps and shampoos, mop the floors and beat the crap out of the MP3 adaptor to get the music playing through. To top it all off, Dan evilly pointed out that, because today was supposed to be the busiest retail day of the year, if we were caught not doing anything useful then we would be fired without warning ON THE SPOT! After that he asked if I wanted 4 extra hours today, to which I declined for fear of getting the shove for accidentally needing to run out back for a sneeze or something...
The only good thing about today was that I got to hang out with my supervisor, Vicky J, for a little bit and found out we both like a lot of the same literature and TV programmes. That and the new girl, Geri, brought us all home made cookies and ORGASMIC chocolate brownies (Dan freaked out and yelled at some of us because they weren't vegan friendly though...hungry Dan is worse than regular Dan, I swear!).
Now, an explanation for the hangover...I went to Ben's work Christmas party last night. I eventually found something smart/glam to wear:
There's a glittery shrug and some lovey heels involved as well, but they're not on sale in the shop anymore so there are no pictures. I was a nervous as hell about the whole thing and was so uncomfortable in that dress. I got a stunned look from Ben though, which I'm taking as a good sign. The party was at some posh hotel in Ealing somewhere and his workmates are nice but DAMN SCARY!!! I know that's probably the protocol for a bunch of people who work in a West London primary school, dealing with unruly midgets and all that jib-jab, but I felt so damn...I don't know, like I would get told off or have a whistle blown at me at any minute. I only planned on having one boozy drink then sticking to something soft, but after the flow of conversation that happened on our table I think I got drunk enough for about 5 people. They asked me about our sex life, sat there discussing things "our men" wont do but should (Ben went red at this point and I just excused myself and ran off to the ladies to breathe for a bit). After that it went on to talk about Ben's family and how much his Mum likes me and couldn't stand his exes (not exactly something I wanted to hear talk of; makes me feel weird), then it got on to talk about his younger sister being pregnant and that he won't get as much attention as he does now once the baby is born. Their idea to counteract this? Get me up the duff! No no no no no no no no no...............of course that started a slight tiff between us both simply because the "Why are we together if we want different things?" thing came up again. Fuck me, it's only been a year.
Ben left to go to the bar and I was left sat with a bunch of cackling, sex crazed, middle aged women gazing at me and asking me mad questions along with "We hear sooooo much about you.", "He never shuts up in the office; Shelly this, Shelly that..." One of them - whilst stupidly pissed - said "Darling, you're actually fucking gorgeous and don't seem like a no brained twat...why the fuck are you with him anyway?" Unfortunately he overheard that one and didn't look pleased. I downed another glass.
We finally left once the meal was over with and before ANYONE could drag us up to the dance floor. I was swaying in my heels and clinging to Ben's arm as we wandered around to find a cab office.
I highly doubt I'll be going to anyones work do ever again after that. Fucking hell.
What I did pick up from that evening is that he and I are OK. I keep complaining about us having this stupid problems, but when push comes to shove we can both sit there, have a laugh, be damn embarrassed together...he even called my parents the "in-laws" during the cab ride home yesterday. We're making plans for him to spend Christmas eve with me and my family (as crazy as they all are...he's been warned that my Granddad WILL throw food at him if he refuses to take it when offered) and I'm spending Christmas day with him and his family (apparently his mum has even bought a bottle of Bailey's for me to sit and have a drink with them). It's all so cool yet so very weird.
I'm going to leave you with a song I'm hooked on at the moment. It keeps being played on the radio and I love it...
I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song I'm twenty-two now, but I wont be for long People ask me when will I grow up to understand Why the girls I knew at school are already pushing prams
I loved you then as I love you still Though I put you on a pedestal, you put me on the pill I don't feel bad about letting you go I just feel sad about letting you know
I don't want to change the world I'm not looking for a new England Are you looking for another girl?
I loved the words you wrote to me But that was bloody yesterday! I can't survive on what you send Every time you need a friend
I saw two shooting stars last night I wished on them, but they were only satellites It's wrong to wish on space hardware I wish, I wish, I wish youd care
I don't want to change the world I'm not looking for a new England Are you looking for another girl?
My dreams were full of strange ideas My mind was set despite the fears But other things got in the way I never asked that boy to stay
Once upon a time at home I sat beside the telephone Waiting for someone to pull me through When at last it didnt ring, I knew it wasn't you
I don't want to change the world I'm not looking for a new England Are you looking for another girl?
I'm going along with Ben to his work do tomorrow evening and the dress code is smart and glamorous. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? I'm a creature that lives in jeans.
Part of me wants to wear a skirt, but I'm going to look like such a twat in one...I can feel it. That and heels will actually kill me. Or I get a dress...I like this one:
Oh God oh God Oh God.
This teamed with being soooooo damn nervous anyway. Oh fucksocks.
24 year old, mentally ill, bisexual, into fetish, loves shoes, hates early mornings, Graduate, comedy addict, laughs at anything, cries at anything, has the best friends anyone could ask for, has a boyfriend, has a dog, has no money, makes no sense.
