MUSTHAVEMUSTHAVEMUSTHAVEMUSTHAVEMUSTHAVEMUSTHAVE

I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD TO OWN THIS!!!
DAVID BOWIE...£20 IN EVANS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

HA, yeah right!!!

"Pop in and sit with one of their expertly trained members of staff to
discuss your skin and hair care needs."

I've been looking at the Westfield website and laughing in a rather painful way at the above quote. It's from the small little description of our shop but I can safely say that we are soooooooo not expertly trained. I'm pretty much bricking it because I can't remember what masks go with which skin type, our "3 lovely things" rule where we need to list 3 things only about our products to the customer so we don't overload them, there's so much haircare that I'm confused...

Bollocks to being expertly trained. I don't even know how the work the tills yet.

http://uk.westfield.com/london/find/detail/store?category=1732&retailer=35604

Currently chugging Lemsip...

Contrary to what I said to my friends earlier, about not being ill and my sore throat just being due to the fact that Lush's perfumes tend to burn, I think I may actually have something.
My nose is becoming increasingly gooey and my head feels like Mr T has whacked me with one of his chains.

Perfect end to a perfectly poo day.

Uni was crap.
My lecturer is a complete wankstain. He got really rude to me and my friends today. All I did was ask a question about what we were supposed to be doing in our groups then, because I didn't see the point, I made a suggestion as polite as I possibly could (whilst trying to stop my voice from fading completely) but before i had chance to finish he cut me off mid sentence, talked down to me like I was some kind of naughty school child then walked off to the next table.
I'd complain but that never usually gets you anywhere.
That really has made me feel like crap.
To those that don't know, I have something called social anxiety disorder. It's basically a phobia of being watched, judged and criticised by other people. It means I'm never sure of myself when I speak for fear of sounding like a dumbass, I have a really hard time speaking in front of large groups of people, I have a hard time reading/listening to feedback about my work (if it's bad news I feel like crap; if it's good news I don't believe it and feel like crap) and feel completely devalued if people don't even give me my chance to speak when it can finally happen. After anything like this has happened, a negativity circle starts where I replay the whole thing in my head and analyze it until the point where I feel like my head is going to go KABOOM! It can take days/weeks/months/years/forever to stop analyzing...it depends on how major the situation was.
So him talking down to me and cutting me off has made me not only feel like an idiot, but and idiot who shouldn't be in that class because I'm obviously of no worth to him or anyone else in there. I must have done something wrong. I also have clinical depression, so I feel so stupidly low about everything now even though life isn't that bad right now.

I've had the Mister here since 4 and explained what happened to him. He was sat with me for ages trying to break that damn circle but it's still whizzing around my head. Hoping my sleeping pills will kick in soon so I can get rid of it for a weenie bit.

Mental illness hinders so much. Mister and I had a talk today because some things are going wrong in the relationship again and he told me why we don't go out so much. He doesn't want to take me anywhere too busy and without plenty of exits because, when we're out, he's constantly worried that panic attacks are going to start happening in an awkward place we can't get away from so easily. He said he wanted to take me to a restaurant on a boat as part of my birthday thing but cancelled it last minute because he got worried about me freaking out but not being able to get off the boat and he remembered that I have problems eating in front of people.
I have now explained that I hardly ever do things like that anymore (last time he saw it was waaayyyy back in March during one of his gigs) and we're going to try and go out just the two of us for a little bit soon. He invited me along as his +1 to a friend's birthday on a barge thing but I can't go due to work.

Anyway, I think we've sorted a few things out now. Still stuff to talk through, but we're getting there.
Most of the evening was spent watching comedies, me trying to sort his ragged nails out and him trying to cheer me up after what happened at uni today. I got the "You're not stupid, I doubt you were rude, of course you deserve to be there" talk, but I'm finding it so hard to believe.

A Lush Life: Part 3

Today was my last day of training.

We were all in the Kingston branch this time, so we could have a rough idea of what our store will be like (a bit like a witches kitchen).
I met most of my fellow lushies at Waterloo station along with one of our trainee managers. We had a mad train ride to Kingston where Tom (that manager I just mentioned), tried to make us sing songs and said some rather crude stuff about some of our products being good lube(!)

We got trained up on skincare and haircare a little bit more and how to link sell products (I can't be arsed to go into that).
We also played with bubble bars a little bit more.
After than it was lunch and we all went to Pizza hut...I refuse to call it Pasta hut!!!!
When we got back we had a Q&A with the manger and trainees then got taken downstairs in groups to learn how to weigh products, wrap them up and work the till (well, some of us missed out on the last one and have to be trained in store.

That was pretty much the day.
I'm just twiddling my thumbs until Saturday now.

A Lush Life: Part 2

Today was my second day of training with the crazies at Lush.
I actually got there half an hour early this time and was greeted upstairs by me new supervisor, Dallas (who was in the interview with me last week...how did she make supervisor?), and two of my colleagues whose names I cannot remember. We sat talking about The Mighty Boosh, Eddie Izzard, Black Books, Offensive ring tones...it was cool.
Everyone else then came up along with another supervisor (I can't remember his name but he does look and act freakishly like Russel Brand. Right down to reading us passages from The Joy of Sex). We all did a few more introductions then played a Mexican wave game where we all stood in a circle, held hands and had to do a sequence of waves depending on what our manager, Dan, did. That nearly broke my arms.
We were then taken off in groups to go down onto the shop floor and have a sniff of everything, talk to each other about our favourite products, have a play with them and pick two of our favourites to take about later on in the session. Unfortunately I keep getting paired up with some 16 year old brat called Tia who has a tiny attention span, is rude to people, moans constantly and ignores other peoples opinions. Reaaaallllyy hoping she grows up a bit over the course of the job because I may have to kill her otherwise.
Groups who weren't down on the shop floor stayed with Dallas and the Brand doppelganger to look at pictures of celebrities, note their body language and suggest products that may be suitable for them based on how they present themselves.
We then ran through store opening times and I found out my hours (although I've changed some). After that, we went through the company dress code: You can wear anything as long as it's black or white, mad piercings and tattoos are allowed, our shoes can be whatever colour and style that we like, nails have to either be completely clear of varnish or varnished very nicely with no chipping, rings are a no no because of demos, hair can be crazy coloured and hats are only allowed if they look rather jaunty (bowler hats are a yes, big fuck off sombreros are a no). They said we all have to look like we use the products but don't need them (a nice way of saying we have to look after our hair and skin for the customers).

After all that jib-jab, we played a bag game. We got into groups of three - me, Gillian and Tia got put together - and we had to put one foot on a large Lush bag and attempt to turn it over to the other side without taking our feet off of it. Whoever did that would win a £1 bonus on top of their wages for that day...in the end he gave everyone a bonus though.

During the lunch break myself, Gillian, Tia, Lucy, Nikki and some other woman whose name escapes me walked around trying to fine somewhere to eat and occasionally ran into shoe shops because Gillian went mad, shouted "SHOSIES FOR MEEEEEEE!" then ran in before anyone could grab her.

After lunch it was presentation time. We all got paired up (I got Tia...AGAIN!) and had to work out how to treat customers with different needs. One group got a pregnant customer, we got someone who has never been to Lush before, another group got a grannie shopping for grandchildren. Tia made me speak...but giving me the most evil look in the universe when I said she should do something because I did he majority of the work in our pair today (I don't think I was asking much to be honest).

After that it was home time!!!!!!!!
Sweet sweet home time.

I've been sitting at home giving mum hand and arm massages.

A Lush Life.

I had my first day of training with Lush in Regent Street today. I got there 10 minutes late because the traffic was hideous and my boss was waiting outside for me hopping and yelling "Hurry up the stairs, I made them wait...go woman!!!!"

I ran up to the store room where there were aboutttt 5 tables full of other new members of staff and two women standing up at the front. Behind them was a table full of Christmas bath ballistics, bubble bars, shampoo bars, massage bars, jugs and bowls of water, a whiteboard, stacks of post-it notes and emotibombs hung around the room like air fresheners.
We were all given a big workbook to take us through the training session with areas to mind map, write product information, draw silly pictures, note down good selling quotes etc
The first part of the session was an intros thing. We had to play something called 'People Bingo' where we all moved around the room and asked each other questions on the sheet. The person with all their boxes filled out with different names won a bubble bar. After that, we were told about the history of the company, charities it supports, how many stores there are world wide.
After that we had a break.
I found out that I used to go to school with one of the girls there. She was in my younger cousins year. I wouldn't have known if she hadn't of ran up to me yelling "DANIELLE'S COUSIN! HOLY FUCK!"
That was interesting...

When we came back from the break we all looked at products and talked about the top notes, middle notes and base notes of the different scents used. I now know that the zesty ones are all speedy top notes which are good as quick fix anti-depressants, helps migraine and hangovers, helps circulation, tones the skin, can ease nausea and speed metabolism.
Middle notes are quite warm and spicy smelling, helps circulation, helps balance skin (mostly combination) and mood, are antiseptic, good for memory recall, calming and pain numbing.
Base notes are the Barry White of the fragrance world apparently. They linger on the skin for up to 24 hours, are warming and soothing, indulgent, aphrodisiacs, can help with stuffy colds, are good for insomniacs, are good for rejuvenating older skin and are great for kids to use because they're calming and gentle.

After that, we went on a lunch break where I found out I knew yet another person there. Her name is Gillian and we went to the same secondary school. As well as that, she's one of the Mister's "friends" (I put it like that because she told me he annoys the fuck out of her). We sat there chatting about school, people we knew and what they're doing now etc.

Product demos were up next. We got taught how to perform hand massages on customers by practising in pairs. We then learnt how to get the most bubbles when doing bubble bar demonstrations as well as dip our hands into the water and smear it all over our arms (I'm now covered in red glitter from that), we were shown the proper way to lather up shower jellies and had to write down the way bombs work whilst chucking them into a bowl on the table.

At the end of the session, we all got given a nice little goodie bag.
Mine consisted of:
- A Jingle Spells bath ballistic
- A Twinkle bath ballistic
- A Mr Butterball bath ballistic
- Christmas kisses bubble bar
- Ruby Red Slippers bubble bar
- Happy hands hand cream
- Squeaky Green shampoo bar
- A small bottle of Tramp shower gel
- Three chunks of soap (Snowcake, Angels Delight and Christmas cake)
- A container of Gold, Frankincense and Beer shower jelly
- Therapy massage bar
- Buffy the backside slayer body butter

It's a good haul...I totted it all up and all those products would have come to roughly £43.

The biggest downside to today was going but forgetting to take my pain killers with me (I'm shocked I could move toward the end of the day. It was agony on the bus) and I ate beef for the first time in 16 years and it made me feel sick. I didn't know there was beef in it...Tia said it was chicken, then added the "oh, and beef" part after I'd pulled a funny face and began to heave. Urggghhh. I can still taste it...urgh...

Another day of training tomorrow. Then again on Sunday.
Hope those sessions are as good as today's.

AGONY MUCH???

Arrgghhhhh save me.
As I said before, I've been twiddling my thumbs waiting for the lady problems to come back for the last couple of weeks. Well MY GOD THEY ARE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!!!
I'm in so much pain. It's been like for the last couple of days. I felt rough on Monday, felt like I was near enough dead on Tuesday, the bleeding came yesterday which signaled the start of a whole day of not being able to move aaaannnnnnddd today is going the same way.
I was woken up by a killer cramp half an hour later than I was supposed to get up this morning and, because walking requires a lot of effort, I managed to leave the house at half 8 (for a lecture at half 9). Dad ran downstairs and caught up with me to offer a lift to the bus stop. I walked to it as he was driving off and the bastard stop was closed because of road works, so I had to walk all the way to the next stop.
I was sat there in near tears for half an hour before a bus finally decided to show up. the bus got packed and I stood up for an old lady to sit and that really hurt.
Actually managed to only be 5 minutes late for class, but I left half way through because I had the most horrible feeling that I was going to either throw up or faint...of a nice combination of the two.

I'm in bed with tea and a hot water bottle now. I can't believe how bad it is this time around...I've not suffered like this in ages. Bloody pill.

I hope I feel alright-ish tomorrow. Last thing I want is to be like this during my training tomorrow (I called my manager about that. The email just hasn't been sent out but I got told where I need to be).