I have got such a weird feeling that my birthday is going to go completely tits up.
To start with, I've had countless numbers of people tell me that being 22 was completely shit for them...family, friends, friends of family, Ben... which just feels like an omen.
It falls on a Wednesday which is the most stupidly awkward day in the world for doing anything and band stuff has come up which means that Ben can't see me on the Wednesday evening like we planned and he can't see me the day after either because of a gig he "just couldn't get out of."
He said he'd see me the Tuesday before instead and then we'd do something special on the Friday, but there's a strong possibility that the Tuesday isn't happening now either.
Another thing: my "best" friend can't see me either now...she made up an excuse about work or something but I know for a fact that she's handing in her resignation in the next week or so and is most probably ditching me for her stupid new boyfriend (sounds silly but sex and weed always wins over spending time with me at the moment).
Just to top it all off, I'm still going to be on the second cycle this fucking soul destroying pill!!! I just know it's going to ruin things...it's making me tired, feel sick all the time and all I can do is snap or cry. I cried in a bar yesterday because a song I really like came on(!)
It just sucks that for the whole week, aside from people around me in classes, I'm going to pretty much be on my own.
Sorry for the rant. I feel like crap right now...I'll probably look at this and think "what the fuck?" later.
I wish I could get back to normal.
7 years ago