Wednesday, 4 March 2009


I had a weird one last night.
Not about exploding pigeons, flying kettles or talking was a different kind of weird.

I used to have a friend. Someone I eventually got very close to a long time ago.
We don't speak anymore - my choice, too dangerous - but this dream was just he and I sitting a blank room and talking.
We yelled at each other, I cried, I threw things, he turned his back and refused to speak, when he actually did it was in strange metaphors that I couldn't work out.
Then all fell silent. A tear rolled down his cheek and he began to disappear. Something he once said to me echoed around the room and then he was gone. Completely.
I was left in the room crying then felt someone hugging me and stroking my hair. I never saw their face but I'd recognise the grip of his hardened guitar strumming fingers, the light voice and the aftershave anywhere.

I firstly woke up feeling really sad that the final hug was just part of my dream and not my Mister laying by my side, then a sense of loss kicked in.

It's left me feeling very strange.

It would be a massive lie to say that I don't miss my friend every now and again. We did have some fun times and I often wonder what he's up to if he's happy.
I hope he's happy.

Everyone I want in my life right now I have. I'm the happiest I've been in a while.
I think this dream was a small moment of nostalgia mixed with my head perhaps making its peace with the last few things that were never said.
Either that or my antibiotics have the same effect as too much cheese.

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