I've been reading up on it A LOT over the last couple of days and think I might start taking it when I get a normal period through again.
We had an incident and it's really freaked me out now. I've come to the conclusion that we're just a little bit useless and I need something else. It was over a week ago but I'm still in panic mode. I'm sure I'll be fine but I have a test here ready just in case (which bumps my total up to....lost count).
If I do start taking it then it'll be after my birthday, so I can at least be happy and fake hormone free for that. I'm going to talk to someone at the clinic first just to air my concerns again about it effecting my depression and about effectiveness with my weight - which I've read up on and it SHOULD be alright - then prep Ben for the possible impending doom (mood changes, weight gain, sore boobs, hair loss/growth, non stop bleeding etc).
I was going to opt for an IUS or an Implant but they're a lot more tricky to stop than a pill. They require me being poked, jabbed and having cold things in dark places. I'm saving those two as last resorts.
As for the relationship problems; it really is my fault and not his. Whenever my mood dips really low I have a very low tolerance of him and I don't even want a tap on the shoulder let alone a hug or anything else. It took a bit to click that it wasn't just him this was happening with, it just seems to be a little bit worse than with friends and family. I find it hard to be around people too long at the moment because I start to get irritated with everyone even when they've not done anything. I don't know if this is still the pill coming out of my system or if I need to get proper help. On really bad days I feel like nothing can save me, on days like today I still feel like shit but I can cope.
In other news, I had my first Postmodern plunder class for lit today.
As per usual, it seems shit. I have Ian Haywood again and he's not exactly the best lecturer ever. I've had two other classes with him over the last two years and those were the classes I did the worst in. He goes off on some REALLY strange tangents and doesn't explain ideas properly. The only thing I like is that he doesn't pick on people to speak, so I don't feel completely poop scared of being pointed at to nag about a novel I've not absorbed.
I'm looking forward to analysing fairy tales in a few weeks time though. I LOVE FAIRY TALES!!!! And my second essay for it isn't due until January. Sweet deal!
Still no news on when the builders are coming to sort out my crying walls. Luckily the nice weather as meant that no water has been coming through, but they need to sort it before the pissdownpours happen and I'm left without a ceiling.
That's pretty much all I fancied nagging on about.
6 years ago